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Vol. I · No. 1

Connecting
Wall Street Mining Co.

Human Resources Dept.

Est. 2026

Now hiring · All shifts · Apply within

Help
Wanted.

Wall Street Mining Co. is taking on Professional Bag Diggers. No résumé. No interview. No salary, either — but every hire leaves with an official Employee ID, signed by the Chairman himself.

Start your application

Form HR-1 · Rev. 2026

Application for Employment

No. 000-0000

Your handle sets your employee number. Same handle, same number — forever.

4 · Department
Signature of applicant: ________________
Nothing you type leaves your browser. The badge is drawn on your device.

Proof · Employee ID · 1200 × 750

Setting type…

Post it on X

X can’t attach images from a link — download (or copy) your badge first, then drop it into the post. Tag @WSMCO_ so the Floor can welcome you.

Section H · Situations vacant

Positions Open

Seven openings, all shifts. Circle one, then apply within — the form fills itself.

  • Ref. PBD-01The Floor

    Professional Bag Digger

    The backbone of the Firm. Must own a shovel and a long attention span. Duties: digging, holding, digging. Hand-wringing optional.

    Full time · On the Floor

  • Ref. SSA-02The Shaft

    Senior Shaft Analyst

    Reads a Dutch auction at a glance. Must recite, unprompted, why 1,350 seconds matters. Spreadsheets welcome; hopium is not.

    Hourly · literally

  • Ref. HOG-03Glazing Dept.

    Head of Glazing

    Liaison to GlazeCorp. Applies the glaze evenly and often. Ensures the world is, in fact, glazed.

    Senior · Sticky fingers expected

  • Ref. CXO-04The Shaft

    Chief Excavation Officer

    C-suite. Corner office at the bottom of the shaft. Responsible for one slot, one hour, and the composure to watch both.

    Executive · Hard hat provided

  • Ref. JPA-05The Shaft

    Junior Pickaxe Associate

    Entry level. Learn the ropes, then the shafts. Mentorship from miners who were early (last week).

    Entry level · Boots required

  • Ref. FTN-06The Floor

    Floor Trader — Night Shift

    The tape never sleeps; neither will you. Must be comfortable with green phosphor and red eyes.

    Nights · Coffee on the Firm

  • Ref. VC-07The Vault

    Vault Custodian

    Guards the portfolio. Holds no keys — the treasury is ownerless — so mostly you count. Then count again.

    Part time · Very quiet

  • Notice

    Collabs open.

    Builders, artists and fellow firms on Robinhood Chain: the Chairman takes meetings by DM.

    @WSMCO_

Terms of employment

Employment at Wall Street Mining Co. is ceremonial. Badges confer no salary, equity, tokens, allowlist, airdrop or authority of any kind — just bragging rights and a seat on the Floor. Your badge is generated entirely in your browser; nothing you enter is stored or sent anywhere. Employee numbers are derived from your X handle and are not unique identifiers. Not an offer of employment, securities or anything else. The Chairman’s signature is a drawing.